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Band 5.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
The online platform for shopping
all
Change preposition
for all
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of materials from groceries to clothing is expanding at a faster pace. Some people opine that due to
such
surge
Correct article usage
a surge
show examples
 in numbers of online buyers, small shops are affected and would one day have to shut down completely. I disagree with the said statement for the reasons stated below in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with,
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
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 way of shopping has its benefits, it is much more convenient to buy all the items just at a click. It has recently gained much popularity owing to the prevailing offers and discounts, as there are no fixed costs involved unlike owning a shop. Having said that, it is not very easy to run an online
business
 too, as it requires customer service and
Add a hyphen
relation-building
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relation
Replace the word
relationship
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 building much more than any small shop, the brands have to struggle to create their space in the market and
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of research and study is required at regular intervals.
Also
,
still
Add a comma
,still
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 there is a huge portion of
population
Add an article
the population
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 who chooses to buy from small shops as they are not well versed with the technological education or equipment to get access to online shopping
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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, they usually make all of their purchases from local shop owners.
In addition
 to
this
, with the expansion of shopping websites and applications, many opportunities have become open for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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small
business
 owners to integrate with
such
 websites and sell their products online.
For instance
, Amazon provides
such
 an option for
business
 owners all over the world, to be able to sell their products not only to their area but globally. To conclude, I would like to mention, change is imperative,
thus
,
micro businesses
Add a hyphen
micro-businesses
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 should adapt to the new shopping era and update themselves by expanding their
business
 circle through
sale
Add an article
the sale
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 of items online
instead
 of relying on the old fashioned way of generating income to stay competitive.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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