IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to the growing number of elderly
people
Use synonyms
, attention on benefits after
retirement
Use synonyms
 is increasing as well. Pension is one of the major benefits of
retirement
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the eligible
age
Use synonyms
 is controversial. Many countries have certain
age
Use synonyms
 rules regard with receiving pensions.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, from my own perspective, the
age
Use synonyms
 should be more flexible for each and every individual. Particularly for those who have a job that requires a high level of physical activity.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, every family and individual has a different life and family plan.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it does not sound sensible to make
people
Use synonyms
 retire at a certain
age
Use synonyms
. It should have a reasonable period, so
people
Use synonyms
 can decide when to retire along with their plans.
For example
Linking Words
, if the rule allows
people
Use synonyms
 can receive their pension between the
age
Use synonyms
 of 60 to 70,
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can plan their lives after
retirement
Use synonyms
 with flexibility as well as they can utilise to the fullest extent. Particularly, there are some
jobs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as trade, hospitality, athletes which require diverse physical activities. Because of the features of
jobs
Use synonyms
, it is hard for workers to work until
age
Use synonyms
 65.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is physically impossible to keep working and make income with those
jobs
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 are old, whereas
such
Linking Words
 as office
jobs
Use synonyms
 are easy to maintain regardless of
age
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, for those
jobs
Use synonyms
 have feasible reasons, the
age
Use synonyms
 rule must be easied. In conclusion, having a set
age
Use synonyms
 rule for
retirement
Use synonyms
 and pension is considered unreasonable. Respecting different life plans and job features, it is plausible to have a flexible period, so it provides
people
Use synonyms
 with a chance to establish their own
retirement
Use synonyms
 plans.
Submitted by ohyounhye on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: