IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
Every human in the world has to effort to fulfil her needs. Some believe that an individual should struggle in the same organization until retirement, while others believe that it will be more acceptable for a community to trial in various environments. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives;
however
, I agree with the latter side. On the one hand, few societies are finding difficulties adapting to the new workplace, making new friends, and so on.
In addition
, some individual feels hard to update themselves with the current technology.
Secondly
, there is a myth among the folk that appraisals and promotions are offered only to senior employees.
For example
, one of the mine uncles worked in the bank for numerous years; All his colleagues respected and treated him as a family and gave him a warm send-off during his retirement.
On the other hand
, the working environment will be unique depending on the organization and the type of work. Some individuals whose nature demands them to be extroverts will be willing to accept jobs in various companies.
Furthermore
, it will create a more effective platform for working with unique brains and forming more comprehensive contact.
Lastly
, plenty of experience can be gained from working in various organizations.
For instance
, one of the cousins worked as a software engineer for about four years,
then
 she switched her career as a teacher that induced her to work with a variety of people. I firmly believe that working in various organizations will mould an individual to be a better person.
Therefore
, everyone has to move forward to mingle and learn with other humans.
Submitted by mariathangaraj4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: