IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Large businesses have big budget for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problem does this cause? What can be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#businesses #budget #promotion #people #gravitate #products
In
this
 competitive world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extensive
scale
 firms invest a colossal amount in the advertisement of their products to entice the customers to boost their sales. There are several issues
persist
Correct pronoun usage
that persist
show examples
 with
this
 scenario as in
turn
Add a comma
,turn
show examples
 it tends to
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of native small
scale
 entrepreneurs .
Therefore
, to mitigate the issue steps that need to be taken in
this
 direction shall be explicated
further
. Certainly, with the modernization and trade
treaties
Add a comma
,treaties
show examples
 it would be feasible for the business tycoons to expand their work throughout the globe.
As a result
 of
this
,
the products
Change to a genitive case
the cost of the product
the cost of the products
show examples
cost
 is ten times higher than its actual manufacturing
cost
, including inclusive taxes and endorsement
cost
 along with profit margin.
Hence
, the goods are sold at greater prices
in contrast
 to
native
Add an article
the native
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
consequently
, leading to
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 in
inflation
Add an article
the inflation
show examples
 rate. Another problem
arises
Correct pronoun usage
that arises
show examples
 is, it
dry
Change the verb form
dries
show examples
 up the small industries and undoubtedly, with their dissolution a lot of local skills vanishes.
For instance
, junk food chains destroy the local restaurants serving healthy and nutritious foods.
Thus
, the large
scale
 businesses are accountable for price
hike
Fix the agreement mistake
hikes
show examples
 and fizzle out small entrepreneurs.
On the other hand
, to motivate dwellers of a specific terrain awareness regarding the significance of utilization of native goods and its merits should be highlighted to aware the public by conducting awareness campaigns, seminars and talks. The advantages in context to economical conditions should be imparted to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
Likewise
, the procurement of local items eventually, generates employment opportunities for the residences along with money inflow. To illustrate,
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 Patanjali was a small
scale
 firm, but with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government support revenue in millions is generated today. In compendium, large businesses sell products at
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
cost
 is one of the vital
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 and to motivate people, advantages of local goods should be explained.
Submitted by sangeeta252618 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: