Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is feasible that ex-prisoners can become normal and lead
productive
Add an article
a productive
show examples
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. A chunk of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
point that, in order to discourage
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
from act crimes, they are the best people to give advice on prohibiting the lure of committing crimes whilst others are
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
show examples
about it. I,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
believe that there are better alternatives to warn teenagers about the drawbacks of executing
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
.
To begin
with,
to encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
youth to live a life of
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
citizen is
hard
Add an article
a hard
show examples
task. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they have no control over their emotions, they are more prone to temptations which makes them vulnerable. One option would be for
police
Add an article
a police
the police
show examples
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
show examples
to visit
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
and talk to young children.
For instance
,
police
Add an article
a police
the police
show examples
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
show examples
can share stories of offenders when did in jail as they had broken the law.
Moreover
, it is evident that some criminals commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
after their release from Jail so it is hard to say they have reformed, or they are merely appearing as novel individuals.
On the other hand
, it is true that ex-offenders can’t tell
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
how they involve in crime and the dangers of
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
the criminal
show examples
lifestyle. As result, children will be discouraged to perform any
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
and there are chances of them becoming
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lawful
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
in the future.
Moreover
,
Teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
Teenagers
show examples
at
this
age
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
highly
sensible
Replace the word
sensitive
show examples
.
Hence
,
this
will affect them deeply which helps them to lead a positive life.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, I do support the view that individuals who have turned their lives after serving prison
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
could help children stay away from committing crimes but I believe that the idea of using authority to deter school youth is more appropriate.
Submitted by jotjeet9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: