More and more people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with their families and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects on family and society as a whole?

#people #work #time #families #friends #happen #effects #society

One of the pressing issues facing many people nowadays is the norm of increasing working

hours

. While some believe that it is the consequence of

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

society, others argue

this

is caused by individual affairs.

This

essay will illustrate the reason for raising working

hours

in terms of social and individual responsibilities as well as explore the ramification of

such

a phenomenon in breaking relationships with family members and causing more crime in the world. To understand the truth of elevated working

hours

, it is vital to analyse the underlying cause -

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

working environment. As a

metropoliten

Correct your spelling

metropolitan

, working does not mean finishing tasks only but

also

racing with your competitor. If you are not working harder and longer, you may lose your customer, the chance of earning more money, the chance of promotion or even your job.

Therefore

, everyone is trying to push themselves forward to reach a higher target in order to win the game. Time spent on work will significantly surge

as a result

. Turning to the effect of the aforementioned problem, breaking relationships between family members is the most critical one. The reason for

such

lies in that employees may be parents of children and spouses of someone. Elongated working

hours

will minimize individuals

to spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

time with their families,

thus

adversely affecting the bonding between parent-child and couple, resulting in

divoice

Correct your spelling

divorce

and conflict between parents and children. There are tremendous studies proving that children from single families or having unconcerned parents will have a higher rate of

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

Therefore

, long working

hours

may eventually push up the crime rate in our society. In conclusion, the trend of increasing working

hours

is caused by the competitive environment which forces citizens to strive for their best at work with more and more time to spend there.

However

, it will badly affect the relationship in the family and result in broken families and a broom in

criminal

Replace the word

crime

show examples

rate. It is believed that work-life balance is vitally important to each person and even the whole community. Governments should set up the longest working

hours

to avoid the drawback of the above problem.

Submitted by demeterchoi on Fri Sep 17 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with their families and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects on family and society as a whole?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that students in high school should not waste their time studying literature, such as poems and novels. Do you agree?

Some people believe that it is good to share as uch information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

ncreasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

STUDENTS SHOULD PAY THE FULL COST FOR THEIR OWN STUDY, BECAUSE UNIVERSITY EDUCATION BENEFITS INDIVIDUALS RATHER THAN SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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