Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #terms #prison #crime #rate

Some individuals consider that lawbreakers might

sent

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send

be sent

show examples

imprisonment

for

long

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a long

show examples

time,in order to decline the crime rate.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

strict punishment can

creates

Change the verb form

create

show examples

fear among

offenders

,I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

other methods can be used to mitigate

this

issue. To commence with,

imprisonment

is helpful to decrease the crime rate, because it creates fear among criminals,they will think twice before committing

further

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

.It makes streets free from

offenders

. To justify it, a survey was conducted in South Africa and seen that

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

no of criminals put into sentences which decline 80%

mishappennings

Correct your spelling

mishappenings

Moreover

imprisonment

only

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the only

show examples

solution to control the temper of the

offenders

and

also

to realize

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

about

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apply

show examples

their mistakes,so that they avoid

to harm

Change the verb form

harming

show examples

others On the opposite side, other ways should be used to handle

this

issue.

Firstly

rehabilitation

Correct article usage

a rehabilitation

show examples

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

show examples

should be introduced to provide

cuncelling

Correct your spelling

counselling

to criminals,it helps to expel negative thoughts from the brain of

offenders

Secondly

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should create awareness about laws against misdoing and

penalty

Fix the agreement mistake

penalties

show examples

should be imposed.

Also

, authorities should increase

Correct your spelling

literacy

litrecy

Correct article usage

the litrecy

show examples

rate, so that people can get

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

jobs for their living and avoid committing crimes. To conclude,

although

sending them

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apply

show examples

imprisonment

is a permanent solution

Change preposition

show examples

the problem;

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

I believe that government should make people aware

about

Change preposition

show examples

laws

Correct article usage

the laws

show examples

and

also

provide job opportunities.

Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on Sun Sep 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employee works from home, using a computer and the Internet to connect with the office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way?

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.