Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #terms #prison #crime #rate

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Some individuals consider that lawbreakers might

sent

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send

be sent

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imprisonment

for

long

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a long

show examples

time,in order to decline the crime rate.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

strict punishment can

creates

Change the verb form

create

show examples

fear among

offenders

,I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

other methods can be used to mitigate

this

issue. To commence with,

imprisonment

is helpful to decrease the crime rate, because it creates fear among criminals,they will think twice before committing

further

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

.It makes streets free from

offenders

. To justify it, a survey was conducted in South Africa and seen that

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

no of criminals put into sentences which decline 80%

mishappennings

Correct your spelling

mishappenings

Moreover

imprisonment

only

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the only

show examples

solution to control the temper of the

offenders

and

also

to realize

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

about

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apply

show examples

their mistakes,so that they avoid

to harm

Change the verb form

harming

show examples

others On the opposite side, other ways should be used to handle

this

issue.

Firstly

rehabilitation

Correct article usage

a rehabilitation

show examples

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

show examples

should be introduced to provide

cuncelling

Correct your spelling

counselling

to criminals,it helps to expel negative thoughts from the brain of

offenders

Secondly

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should create awareness about laws against misdoing and

penalty

Fix the agreement mistake

penalties

show examples

should be imposed.

Also

, authorities should increase

Correct your spelling

literacy

litrecy

Correct article usage

the litrecy

show examples

rate, so that people can get

well paid

Add a hyphen

well-paid

show examples

jobs for their living and avoid committing crimes. To conclude,

although

sending them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

imprisonment

is a permanent solution

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show examples

the problem;

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

I believe that government should make people aware

about

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show examples

laws

Correct article usage

the laws

show examples

and

also

provide job opportunities.

Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on Sun Sep 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

208 words

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Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect o young people's reading and writing skills . to what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their doctors . Do you this this is a positive or negative development ?

1. You are leaving your current job for some reasons and you would like to recommend one of your friends to your manager. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - say why you resign - what are the duties of your current job - why your friend is suitable for this job

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some think that it is a positive development, whereas others consider it as negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and heath care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?