Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #video #games #waste #time #effect #health #players

With the development of modern technologies,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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virtual

games

are advancing at an amazing speed.

However

, most people consider it

Correct your spelling

show examples

time

Add an article

a time

show examples

killer and alert about its negative effects. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

disscuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

both pros and cons of

Correct your spelling

computer

show examples

compter

Correct your spelling

computer

show examples

game

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

and will provide my opinion.

First

of all, undoubtfully

games

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our mental health. There are innumerous

articals

Correct your spelling

articles

article

and magazines underling the importance of

games

in our

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lives

life

life's

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

games

are considered as the best teachers. The problem here is strongly connected with an inactive state of

body

Correct article usage

the body

show examples

, which most of the players

experiance

Correct your spelling

experience

while playing video

games

through the screens. Sitting with the same pose for several hours without will

Correct your spelling

surely

show examples

surly

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surely

show examples

lead to serious

helth

Correct your spelling

health

problems

such

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back pain

show examples

backpain

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back pain

show examples

, headache,

constantly

Replace the word

constant

show examples

fatigue and insomnia. It is strongly advised to limit daily usage of computer and be more active in case you are a big amateur of video

games

. As an

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

I would like to share my

huband's

Correct your spelling

husband's

experiance

Correct your spelling

experience

experienced

. He is a

developper

Correct your spelling

developer

and at the same

time

Add a comma

,time

show examples

he is a great gamer meaning that he spends most of his

time

in front of the screens. He used to claim a lot about his

Correct your spelling

back pain

show examples

backpain

Correct your spelling

back pain

show examples

. After setting up alarms, mainly designed for small exercises, health issues were solved.

On the other hand

, computer

games

are a great way to spend

time

. There are

enoumuse

Correct your spelling

enormous

games

designed for every life scenario. If one needs to learn something, she can benefit from educational

games

, the other one can pick up video

games

for memory, making

desicions

Correct your spelling

decisions

fast or learning new skills

such

as calculating is another online

game

cathegory

Correct your spelling

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

377 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that playing video games is a waste of time and can even have a negative effect on the health of players. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy around the world today. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is replacing fossil fuels. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that robots will replace classroom teacher in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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