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Band 4.5

Pie charts shows the electricity production in France and Australia in 1980 and 2000.

#electricity #production #france #australia
The pie charts visualize the
units
 of
electricity
 generation in Australia and France by using different kinds of fuels between 1980 and 2000.
Overall
, it had been noticed that, in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years, Australia had
depends
Wrong verb form
depended
show examples
 on coal as
themain
Correct your spelling
the main
 source of
electricity
production
.
On the contrary
, France was using all the available sources of fuels at the beginning
but
Correct word choice
apply
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,
when
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 years later they started to
depends
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
 on nuclear
power
 as their main root
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
electricity
production
. First of all, in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries the total
electricity
production
 had increased significantly. To elaborate, in Australia during 1980 the total
production
 of
electricity
 was 100
units
.
In
Change preposition
Of
show examples
 that, 50% was produced by using coal. At the same time, the remaining half had been generated by using natural gas,
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
 and oil.
Furthermore
, in the year 2000,
Correct article usage
a totally
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totally
Replace the word
total
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170
Change preposition
of 170
show examples
units
 were generated, in that, more than three fourth
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on coal and the remaining
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 of the total
units
 were generated with the help of
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
, natural gas and oil.
In addition
, the noticeable thing is they
were not used
Change the verb form
have not used
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nuclear
power
 source.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, electricity, production, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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