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Writing Samples /
Band 4

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
At the present time,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large number of
people
 prefer to buy online shopping as demands of it are developing with velocity among the world. To my mind, it is not
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 point.
Initially
, we need to think about negative issues with online stores. Many
people
 believe it is wrong to purchase through online shopping.
Firstly
, the goods that humans will
going
Change the verb form
go
be going
show examples
 to buy cannot become well as they await.
For example
, online market customers locate super posts
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 internet channels.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it can be some defects.
Such
 as
their goods size
Change to a genitive case
the size of their goods
show examples
 cannot correspond to humans.
Secondly
, as a matter of
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
 that some online magazines may be
slyness
Replace the word
sly
show examples
.
In addition
, their markets can
opened
Change the verb form
open
be opened
show examples
 in order to take a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 money with
lie
Add an article
a lie
the lie
show examples
.
Thirdly
,
although
 carrying the goods to regions do not insist
any
Change preposition
on any
show examples
 costs, they increase the costs of them. In terms of alternatives, there are a few options that we have. Online magazines are becoming more popular in today's world. These provide more population's energy
such
 as clients give
order
Change the article
the order
show examples
 to get their necessary things and customers bring them without any anxieties.
Besides
, the main opportunity for inhabitants is time management.
Likewise
, they do not spend more time
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 markets. To draw a conclusion,
although
 more
people
 rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
purchase through online markets, I would recommend that whiten
people
's credibilities.
Submitted by odil_m on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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