IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times it’s easier to find
people
Use synonyms
 that, even though they are struggling financially or are already in debt, continue to spend
money
Use synonyms
 to buy things that are not necessary. If you analyse the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 type of choice, it can be seen that it’s mostly due to psychological factors. Because of that, there’s a need for projects that could raise awareness on
this
Linking Words
 matter. One of the causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem seems to be psychological. In fact,
people
Use synonyms
 are mostly corrupted by today’s society and they feel the need to buy and spend
money
Use synonyms
 each day, sometimes on things they don’t even realise are not needed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, once they reach the point where they’re already in debt, most
people
Use synonyms
 end up not caring anymore about their financial status, mostly because they notice that the damage it’s already done.
For example
Linking Words
, I've seen
people
Use synonyms
 continue to gamble even if they already lost most of their
money
Use synonyms
 because they didn't have anything to lose anymore. To put an end to these situations, there’s only one thing that can be done: raise awareness. If the government took time to create projects and campaigns to make adults aware of
this
Linking Words
 matter and to guide those
people
Use synonyms
, so that they can understand how to properly manage their
money
Use synonyms
, the situation would probably be under control. To sum up, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 during the
last
Linking Words
 years have started to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on objects that are useless and that happens because of how our society works nowadays and because of psychological reasons,
however
Linking Words
 much can be done to help them, and the government should start with campaigns to raise awareness and projects to teach
people
Use synonyms
 how to spend efficiently their resources.
Submitted by enzo.basile1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: