Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

Access to computers has increased significantly over recent decades, and more and more

adults

playing

games

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

This

essay will discuss why

myriad

Correct article usage

a myriad

show examples

adults

present

this

preference and why it is a positive development. These days, many employees are under the

stress

because of

heavy

Add an article

a heavy

show examples

workload, job insecurity and conflicts with co-workers or bosses, and the

stress

leads to burnout.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of employees do not have a work-life balance,

hence

they spend much time in front of a

computer

, playing

games

online. While doing

this

, they don’t need to think about their work and they can fully focus on the

games

. By doing

this

adults

can relieve their

stress

Furthermore

, it’s cheap and comfortable. Game users don’t have to pay a lot of money unless they buy some game items, and almost every

adults

Fix the agreement mistake

adult

show examples

can play

games

in their own place.

Thus

, playing

games

genuinely

Add an article

the genuinely

a genuinely

show examples

perfect way for

adults

to alleviate their

stress

In addition

, while playing

games

, they can have a chat with other users.

This

can be another way of

assuage

Change the verb form

assuaging

show examples

the

stress

that came from their work. In their workplace, employees always meet the same

people

in the limited area,

consequently

Add a comma

,consequently

show examples

they cannot socialize with many

people

However

, when they playing

games

adults

can meet numerous new

people

online and have a chat with them. Their conversation topics are not limited to work, but their daily lives, friendships, family, and future plans. Some

people

even meet offline and became

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

This

whole process can help them to reduce their

stress

. Thanks to easy access to

Add an article

a computer

the computer

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

adults

can play

computer

games

more often these days and they can manage their

stress

by playing

games

. All in all,

this

aspect is expected to

be have

Correct your spelling

behave

show examples

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

effect on many

adults

Submitted by shoep11 on Wed Sep 22 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries, people are now living longer than evere before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.