IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

QUESTIONS: WITH A FAST PACE OF MODERN LIFE MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE TURNING TOWARDS FASTFOOD FOR THEIR MAIN MEALS. DO YOU THINK ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE ADVANTAGES?

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In
this
Linking Words
 present world, it is visible that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people tend to eat more fast
food
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 their daily meals. It is mainly due to the hectic lifestyle of individuals who are busy with their day to day work. The two sides of the argument will be analyzed and discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
Firstly
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, the person
select
Change the verb form
selects
show examples
 to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 because of its various advantages.
Therefore
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 as mankind is really busy and due to the less time they have, they
choose
Add the particle
tochoose
show examples
 purchase the fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Also
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, it is more affordable with the price which compared to
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
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 nutritious diet.
Thus
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,
fast
Add an article
the fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 industry has developed very healthy alternatives
such
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 as
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 sugar biscuits.
This
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 is why it can be argued that there are certain pros
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.
Secondly
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, a vast range of disadvantages
are
Change the verb form
is
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 inevitable due to the excess amount of eating snacks.
For instance
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food
Use synonyms
such
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 as chips contains a large number of additives, saturated fat, sugars.
Furthermore
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, eating a lot of fast
food
Use synonyms
 can cause health problems
such
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 as obesity.
As a result
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, the community could lead to unhealthiness.
However
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, it is clear that eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 will
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 more disadvantages to the human body. To summarize, it can be clearly stated that having fast
food
Use synonyms
 constantly
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
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much
Change the quantifier
many
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 cons than its cons.
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Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 I would mention that the advantages will not outweigh the disadvantages.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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