Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#people #change #job #years

Nowadays people move from one

job

other

Correct pronoun usage

another

show examples

frequently.

Although

satisfaction

Add an article

the satisfaction

a satisfaction

show examples

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

and to get

promotion

Add an article

a promotion

show examples

are the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

main reason;

however

, I believe that later outweigh the former and will discuss my

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

in forthcoming paragraphs. The main reason strike to my mind is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people change their

job

regularly because when they

feels

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

uncomfortable at some they switch to it and prefer to find new jobs.

Also

, wages satisfaction is another cause behind it, because

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

jobs offer them more salary according to their experience, whereas, if person

continue

Change the verb form

continues

show examples

with

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

job

, they provides them little increment.

In addition

this

working

Add an article

the working

show examples

environment is

also

matter

Correct article usage

a matter

show examples

of concern, when employees are not well cooperative and dominant

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other in front of their boss, it increases their stress level and prefer to quit that

job

and find

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

one. To justify it, a survey was conducted in

xyz

Correct your spelling

XYZ

Xyz

company and seen that the main cause of resignation was

poor

Add an article

a poor

show examples

relationship between workers and employees. The drawbacks of switching from one

job

to other

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more considerable.

Firstly

, it is difficult to adjust in

new

Add an article

the new

a new

show examples

working environment, because every company have their own rules and regulations and it takes

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time to adjust in them.

Secondly

, building good relationships at work is

also

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

easy

Add an article

an easy

show examples

task, if they want to develop

Add an article

a relationship

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with colleagues, they have to work hard. So that they can get

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

position at

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

Also

, people need to change their accommodation when they change the

job

,it increases the mental stress of their families as well as employees

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because children always face trouble in making new friends. To conclude, while,

job

satisfaction and promotion are the main cause of changing

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

regularly, I believe that

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

cons are more than pros

such

as enhance mental stress because everything is new for them.

Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on Fri Sep 24 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in to look for work. what will be the consequences of this problem and what solution Can you offer?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.