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Band 5

Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#people #change #job #years
Nowadays people move from one
job
 to
other
Correct pronoun usage
another
show examples
 frequently.
Although
,
satisfaction
Add an article
the satisfaction
a satisfaction
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 of
job
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the job
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 and to get
promotion
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a promotion
show examples
 are the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
main reason;
however
, I believe that later outweigh the former and will discuss my
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 in forthcoming paragraphs. The main reason strike to my mind is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 people change their
job
 regularly because when they
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 uncomfortable at some they switch to it and prefer to find new jobs.
Also
, wages satisfaction is another cause behind it, because
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 jobs offer them more salary according to their experience, whereas, if person
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 with
same
Change the article
the same
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job
, they provides them little increment.
In addition
 to
this
,
working
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the working
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 environment is
also
matter
Correct article usage
a matter
show examples
 of concern, when employees are not well cooperative and dominant
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other in front of their boss, it increases their stress level and prefer to quit that
job
 and find
new
Add an article
a new
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 one. To justify it, a survey was conducted in
xyz
Correct your spelling
XYZ
Xyz
 company and seen that the main cause of resignation was
poor
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a poor
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 relationship between workers and employees. The drawbacks of switching from one
job
 to other
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more considerable.
Firstly
, it is difficult to adjust in
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 working environment, because every company have their own rules and regulations and it takes
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time to adjust in them.
Secondly
, building good relationships at work is
also
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
easy
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an easy
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 task, if they want to develop
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a relationship
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with colleagues, they have to work hard. So that they can get
good
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a good
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 position at
office
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the office
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.
Also
, people need to change their accommodation when they change the
job
 ,it increases the mental stress of their families as well as employees
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because children always face trouble in making new friends. To conclude, while,
job
 satisfaction and promotion are the main cause of changing
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 regularly, I believe that
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 cons are more than pros
such
 as enhance mental stress because everything is new for them.
Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • values
  • fulfilling
  • benefits
  • motivator
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • climbing the career ladder
  • dynamic work environment
  • adaptability
  • opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • professional and personal lives
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