many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people

It is clearly seen that the amount of

sugar

is composed of many foods and beverages.

Huge

Correct article usage

A huge

show examples

concentration of

sugar

is one of the factors leading to a

health

crisis. There is a policy

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

conveys that people should pay extra money to consume. To my mind, I agree that it is a great way to deal with the

sugar

aholic

Correct your spelling

alcoholic

problem.

To begin

with, increasing expenditure for sugary products will decrease the demand to buy

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. In

this

evolution, workers spend time on transportation especially in a big city, so they have little time to eat from day

to day

Correct your spelling

today

show examples

Furthermore

, those believe that sweeteners bring high energies in their route and do not consider how much quantity that they should have in one day. For these reasons, they cannot refuse to pay money for unhealthy food which has high costs per year in individual conditions.

For instance

, coke has a higher cost, many people will avoid buying it because they have the same incomes as in normal situations.

As a result

, following the advice will lessen the need due to expensive goods referring from economical theory.

In addition

, consuming less

sugar

will reduce

risks

Correct article usage

the risks

show examples

health

issues

such

as obesity.

Sugar

is one type of sweetener which is commonly combined in many foods. Products added with more

sugar

will have more risks of illness. Another factor stimulating

health

problems is sedentary lifestyles which are not careful about

health

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

This

is linked together with a healthy diet in daily lives as well as consumption.

Thus

avoiding

sugar

and having a healthy lifestyle

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great

option

Fix the agreement mistake

options

show examples

to be safe from chronic disease. In conclusion,

sugar

-added products will put

individual's

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

well-being at risk. Going up the price of sweet goods should be done to protect and take care of citizens from non-communication disease and poor

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Submitted by noprada23 on Fri Sep 24 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar consumption
health problems
manufactured food and drink products
encourage
expensive
reduce
effectively
discourage
tight budget
purchasing
disproportionately
lower-income individuals
healthier food choices
demand
regardless

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many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic game. Is this a positive or negative development?

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Success is often measure by wealth and material belongings. Do yout hink wealth is the best measure of succes? what makes a successful person?

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Write about the following topic: The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?