IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

families have more people in the past because they have more children. Do you think there are more advantages than disadvantages to being in a large family in the past

#families #people #children
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It is a social belief that there are more sons to inherit property so a number of families have more
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of the above statement. On the one hand, in the large family, they will have all kinds of age group people. They grew up together so they can be learnt from the elder. If they are more siblings, they will know how to share with each other. In
this
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 day and age, the child can get spoiled if they have more privacy by unhealthy habits. For
examples
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example
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, the recent study
as
Change preposition
apply
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confirmed that the
children
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 who are born and grew up in a large family in the past can
lived
Change the verb form
live
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 for
longer
Add an article
a longer
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day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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 than the
children
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 in the present. In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 large family, they support each other in hard situations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the past, they believed that having
additional
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an additional
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 boy means more number of earning money and they could live a good life. But
this
Linking Words
 kind of thinking is harmful to
couple
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the couple
a couple
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 and their siblings. Nowadays, having a large number of families is incredibly difficult to manage in terms of education and in fulfilling their basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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. For
examples
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example
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, research has found that in a large family, the child of that family can not have the basic education and needs of a child. It will affect the development of the
children
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 so the child’s
Correct your spelling
later
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latter
Correct your spelling
later
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 life is very difficult. In conclusion, if families do not have a strong economy, they could not get more
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Thanh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • agrarian
  • sustenance
  • communal bonds
  • emotional and practical support
  • child mortality rates
  • social security
  • financial burdens
  • economic strain
  • overpopulation
  • environmental degradation
  • inheritance
  • family business
  • internal family conflicts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: