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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people
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Some
people
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 are of the opinion that the
stars
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 in
current
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the current
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 time are popular for their assets and fairness than their work and achievements. I completely disagree, and firmly believe that modern
stars
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 are striving hard to improve in all aspects to be
a
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apply
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complete
person
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people
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will state about their philanthropic activities
then
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, move on to discuss
about
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apply
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significant
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 achievements and how these two factors influence
for
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apply
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the good of young
people
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.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 with fame be it movie
stars
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,
sportsers
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sports
, politicians etc. in the contemporary world have shown a lot of responsibility and care towards the welfare of their public. Their
scrupoulusness
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scrupulousness
 and dedication to be available to destitute and under-
previliged
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privileged
 at all times by establishing charitable organizations and other events is a great gesture.
Moreover
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, these are the right ways to inspire
young
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the young
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 generation so that even they participate in
such
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 welfare events.
Thus
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, generalising based on few cases where
celebrities
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 have set bad examples is not an
approprite
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appropriate
 way.
For instance
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, during the pandemic where
lot
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a lot
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 of
public
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the public
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 have suffered without basic medical amenities
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quite
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quiet
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quite
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 a few movie
stars
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 have donated hefty amounts.
In addition
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 to
that
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,that
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 they
also
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 campaigned to raise funds for a good cause to which they received a huge response
there by
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thereby
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 proving that they are not only socially responsible but
also
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 take the
youth
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 along with them in their great journey.
Furthermore
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, even if we consider
celebrities
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 in their domain, their contribution to that field is invaluable. They have inspired many young talents and even encouraged them to explore their domain of interest.
Thus
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, it shows they do care
of
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for
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 the
youth
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.
For example
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, sports
stars
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 like Ronaldo, Messi,
Fedrer
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Federer
, Sachin have all set a high benchmark for the youngsters to have a crack at it. Their not only known for their talent but
also
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 for being an all-rounder. Be it in helping
poor
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the poor
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 or even in their field they have done it all to be
perfect
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a perfect
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 role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 to any youngster. To conclude, generalising all the
celebrities
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 and classifying them as a bad symbol to the
youth
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 is a pretty hasty conclusion.
Thus
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,
people
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 should have a holistic view and not rely on few cases to decide if its
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 or bad influence. If we comprehend the above cases where
majority
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the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
celebrities
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 have contributed
the
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to the
show examples
 greater good of
youth
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 by their talents and social activities, it can be firmly asserted that the
celebrities
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 now set a good example.
Submitted by avskkrish80 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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