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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend
Shopping has always been
important
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an important
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 activity for a household. In medieval times, shopping used to be on
barter
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the barter
a barter
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 system. Due to
advancement
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advancements
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 in modern society, shopping has been done in exchange
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 money. Since many
people
 have increased their wealth,
this
 precious
acitivty
Correct your spelling
activity
 has become a sort of hobby for a very small portion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
 trend has impacted our mother nature negatively, which I shall be discussing
further
 in
this
 essay.
First
 of all,
attitude
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the attitude
an attitude
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 of
current
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the current
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 generation has changed from living
simple
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a simple
show examples
 life to show off unnecessary.
This
 can be well observed from our previous generation, which considered shopping only as a necessary activity. Only those things were purchased, which were really needed. Sometimes, a child's desire to get a toy
was supersede
Change the verb form
was superseded
was superseding
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
purchase
Correct article usage
the purchase
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 of food material.
In addition
 to
this
, buying goods wisely was helpful in maintaining balance in nature.
This
 particular exercise
also
 kept social values in the family.
Secondly
, purchasing excessively has brought
attention
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the attention
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 social misdeed doers. They target those
people
 who spend unwisely.
This
 has resulted in
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
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 trend in crime.
People
 have lost morale and always wanted their desire to be fulfilled.
This
 can be well supported by the downward trend in
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 values of a family. Old
people
 are not being cared for, children
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not respect their elders. Most importantly, doing
this
 exercise unnecessarily has increased
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
 to create more shopping malls. It is evident that we have brought
disparity
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the disparity
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 in mother nature, by cutting down
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the forest
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forest
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forests
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 in order to construct cemented structures. In my opinion, shopping as a hobby has
deterioted
Correct your spelling
deteriorated
 our social structure.
This
 exercise should be brought back to
conventional
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the conventional
show examples
 theme, to shop wisely.
Submitted by iamssingh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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