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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1908 and 2000.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1908 and 2000.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france
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The pie charts compare how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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electricity
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 were generated in Australia and France in 1980 and 200 by five different fuel sources (Coal, Oil, Natural Gas, Hydro
Power
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 and Nuclear
Power
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)
Overall
Linking Words
, total output significantly raised in both countries during
this
Linking Words
 20-year period.
While
Linking Words
 differences in production
was
Change the verb form
were
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 never more than 10
units
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 between countries, Australia escalated its production from 100
units
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 to 170
units
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, France doubled the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
electricity
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 to 180.
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australia
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 never burnt nuclear
power
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, coal always was the main source of
power
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 for them. Coal provided 50
units
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 of
electricity
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 in 1980 with
a
Remove the article
apply
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dramatic growth to 130
units
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 in 2000.
Although
Linking Words
electricity
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 based on
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
 increased from 20
units
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 to 36
units
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, natural gas and oil-based
electricity
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 dropped to 2
units
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form
Correct your spelling
from
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 10 and 20
units
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 respectively. In
France
Add a comma
,France
show examples
electricity
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 generation using nuclear
power
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 jumped from 15 to 126
units
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.
Hydro
Correct your spelling
Hydropower
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power
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 and natural gas only made 2
units
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 of
electricity
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 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 they supplied 5 and 25
units
Use synonyms
 of energy in 1980 respectively. Coal and oil did not experience remarkable change and their output remained
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 25
units
Use synonyms
 of
electicity
Correct your spelling
electricity
.
Submitted by hesam.masoud.ielts on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, units, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
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