Some people are convinced that mature age employees are beneficial to a company. Others think that younger employees contribute more and hence are more beneficial to a company. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

One of the most conspicuous trends of today's globalized world is
Add an article
a laborer

The noun phrase laborer seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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laborer
Replace the word
labour

The word laborer doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Few citizens are convinced that mature youth worker benefits to a
company
whereas others ponder that teenager
employees
involve more and
hence
are more advantageous to a community. I am partially agreeing with
this
notion. I will delineate the rationales behind it in the ensuing paragraphs.
First
and foremost, let me commence by stating, the most preponderant aspects associated with that, there are compelling reasons, why
people
are favouring that, fully-developed youth staff are beneficial to a
company
. In a
company
,
employees
are the main asset to run a business. Mature age workers
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject workers. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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more experience than other
people
and they know about what is right or wrong for their
company
.
Additionally
, Mature age
employees
are most reliable than other
people
because they
takes
Change the verb form
take

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb takes are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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less time to learn new things in a
company
. They know how to hurdle the situation if there is something issue in the
company
. They always help staff who have new in a community. They have good communication skills and business skills. Another pivotal aspect associated with
this
argument is that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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youthful
employees
put up more and
useful
Add a missing verb
are useful

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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to a firm. Junior workers are more advanced than
an aged workers
Correct the article-noun agreement
aged workers
an aged worker

The indefinite article an may not be required with the plural noun workers in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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so they know better in technological fields. They know how to use and tackle technology. In
company
Correct article usage
a company

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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, if there is any issue regarding machines or
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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than
Correct your spelling
then

The word than doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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younger
employees
are more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial

The word benefit doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to a
company
without wasting a time they help to the
people
and companies saves their money.
Moreover
, the Young generation develops a positive attitude towards work. They build
a healthy relations
Correct the article-noun agreement
healthy relations
a healthy relation

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun relations in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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with the team or those who have entered a new
first
job. They always talk
polite
Change the adjective
politely

The adjective polite is modifying talk instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

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with the
employees
because they know give respect to their elder
employees
. In conclusion, all in, all amalgamate all the points discussed above, it can be recapitulated that, after analysing both views, it is believed that both are equally important for the development of any organisation.
Submitted by nencypatel7218 on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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