some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of jop should be highly paid?

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Entertainers are known
with
Change preposition
for
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high salaries by
people
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.
This
Linking Words
sector
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is very
famaous
Correct your spelling
famous
in terms of high incomes. I agree
,
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apply
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they are paid too much
money
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to perform their professions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, entertainment is a
sector
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which meets demands related
pastime
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to pastime
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activities mostly.In that free time,
people
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accept to spend a big amount of
money
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to have fun.
This
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aspect
lead
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leads
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to
competation
Correct your spelling
competition
in
sector
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depending on getting alliance with popular entertainers. Growing demands play an important role in high numbers which are paid to famous. Limiting and controlling the alliance
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
impossible to check in
this
Linking Words
system. Rock stars, to
exemlify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, organize a concert and earn almost annual income by a single organisation. It supplies plenty of
money
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to
sustein
Correct your spelling
sustain
their life and career.
Secondly
Linking Words
,hearing big numbers of incomes never shock the
people
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although
Linking Words
they criticize generally. Society stays
in
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apply
show examples
calm to act and
this
Linking Words
encourages the
sector
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to go on.
Although
Linking Words
minimal wage is dramatically low,
people
Use synonyms
never compare incomes. So, it is
basis
Add an article
the basis
show examples
for suffering from
this
Linking Words
sector
Use synonyms
. A famous star, to illustrate, earn much more
money
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but
people
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only debate their
perfotmance
Correct your spelling
performance
widely.Noone can hinder or complain.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the other occupations which deserve more
money
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such
Linking Words
as; teacher, doctor, lawyer and designer lose their motivations and hopes. Despite good education and
experienment
Correct your spelling
experiment
experience
, they can not earn huge numbers. To consider all in a broader context, they think that famous
people
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earn a lot
instead
Linking Words
of the
people
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deserved.
As a result
Linking Words
,
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
is criticized but never banned or controlled. Everyone should think
others
Change preposition
of others
show examples
who are unmotivated and needed while watching
performance
Add an article
a performance
the performance
show examples
in that
sector
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yalcin_tugce on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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