IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #train #subway #lines #traffic #congestion #roads
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The
largest selling
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largest-selling
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products
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 in today’s market are not what
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society needs, but are the ones
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have been made popular by the
ever increasing
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ever-increasing
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 power of the global advertising industry. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Since, the late
1950’s
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1950s
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, there have been huge advancements in communication technology leading to
transfer
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the transfer
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 of information at
global
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the global
a global
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level
Use synonyms
. These modes of communication have been exploited vastly by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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corporations for advertising their
products
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.
Initially
Linking Words
, advertising was done for
products
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 were existing in the market and were already being used by
general
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the general
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 public. It was to make people aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 the availability, quality, cost and other features of the
products
Use synonyms
 leading to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in sales at
local
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the local
a local
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level
Use synonyms
 and international
level
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. Due to the advent of
Television
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television
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 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, the reach or impact of advertisements over the mind of consumers has crossed all barriers. With the use of modern tricks, manufacturers have been able to generate demand for
products
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are not essential or needed by a common man.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
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 of sports or movie celebrities is one of the easiest
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to gain attention
by
Change preposition
from
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 fan followers or young consumers. The constant exposure of these advertisements even at
subconscious
Correct article usage
a subconscious
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level
Use synonyms
 will make you buy things
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 you do not need or at a price
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is not justifiable. Teenagers are
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 prone to
such
Linking Words
 type of advertising wherein they need to mimics their idols, who have been created by
such
Linking Words
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of glamourous advertisements. Even politicians have resorted to advertising tactics to manipulate voters and get selected, which has been proven in multiple countries.
Although
Linking Words
, advertising is
essential
Add an article
an essential
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 part of our daily lives
but
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apply
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I strongly believe that it should not take
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 stage whenever we are out shopping for goods, appliances or consumables. We should be the
decision maker
Add a hyphen
decision-maker
show examples
 for what I need and what I purchase.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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