Many educational institutions give greater importance to subjects related to science and ignore subjects such as drama and literature. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In our rapidly developing
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
it is acknowledged fact that
science
subject
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more significant than drama and literature
subjects
in
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
study plan. I am convinced that
this
necessary decision is adduct to wicked trend.
This
essay
is presents
Change the verb form
is presented
show examples
that it is negative growth and it is crucial to give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
deserving attention. To beginning with,
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the essential
Correct your spelling
downsides
show examples
down sides
Correct your spelling
downsides
show examples
of
orient
Add an article
the orient
show examples
on
science
subject is the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of workplaces. Every year the workplace in
scientific
Add an article
a scientific
the scientific
show examples
field
is decrease
Change the verb form
is decreasing
is decreased
show examples
. New discoveries affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humanity
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
. So, they promotes
people
earn
Fix the infinitive
to earn
show examples
a lot of money and build a successful career. And it leads to rising of competition.
Therefore
, it
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
that throwing the dream to try out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
. Anymore, it
is not depend
Change the verb form
does not depend
show examples
on
people
who major
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
can find a job.
On the other hand
,
science
can create
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
and financial stability. But art helps
people
to be extraordinary and think wider. It is
clearly
Change the adverb
clear
show examples
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that developing
science
field
subjects
are lead to economic progress and be wealthy. But human life is not only
earning
Change preposition
about earning
show examples
money.
Also
, there are a lot of benefits to
study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
a dramatic and literature. So, without these
subjects
world become culturally poorer and bring
destroying
Replace the word
destruction
show examples
of moral values. In conclusion, the number of jobs for scientists will increase and it will result
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
reduction
artists
Change preposition
in artists
show examples
, writers.
Consequently
, it is important to balance funding the
science
field
subjects
and the art
subjects
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: