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Band 4

Some people think that entertainers are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree ? Which other types of job should be highly paid ?

#people #entertainers #money #job
In recent years, We are seeing that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainers are earned
handsome
Correct article usage
a handsome
show examples
amount
 of
money
 as compared to other fields. I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
 with
this
 saying.There were
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
fileds
Correct your spelling
files
 which
also
 necessary to pay equally.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,The actors and sports persons to whom
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 industry are rewarding with
highest
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the highest
show examples
amount
 of
money
.
Although
 they are getting special treatment from
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
also
 and get
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some tax evasion perks.Some Of them are not using
this
money
 for society but utilised for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own lifestyles. Though We are seeing that both of them have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own trust and company ,who willing work for
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
show examples
 of needy persons.
However
 , The medical
personnel
 and defence
personnel
 are not amongst the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who
earnes
Correct your spelling
earns
earned
 the greater
money
.The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to provide the sufficient
amount
 of
money
 to the army
personnel
 because they are the one who protects us without any hesitation and ready to die for the nation. The lifestyle has been
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
 by him and his family is just normal as compares to other fields. Doctors should take home
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount
 of salary
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who
save
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saves
show examples
life
Add an article
the life
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 of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. we have seen that doctors have served the nation during the pandemic that
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 without any conditions.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
profession
Replace the word
professional
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workers
Change the determiner
worker
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serves
Change the verb form
serve
show examples
 the individual at any point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time.Though they are
earing
Correct your spelling
earning
show examples
 higher than army
personnel
 but lesser than the entertainers. In the conclusion, The Defence and medical sectors should get
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 so they
also
 can manage
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 lifestyle of their desire for their loved ones. Entertainers should get the
money
 and fame for their own
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 but should not be overpaid.
Submitted by virag.talati on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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