Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many people believe that

music

is a good example of how to bring people from different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

around the

world

together

Add the preposition

withtogether

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no matter how old are they.

This

essay

is totally agree

Change the verb form

totally agrees

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with

this

state

Replace the word

statement

show examples

that

music

can joy the

world

Music

is a universal language. We can enjoy the beat without understanding the meaning. The joyful rhythm brings us all together, the lyric which written

with

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show examples

a different language is not a problem

any more

Correct your spelling

anymore

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. Recently, there is

k-pop

Correct article usage

a k-pop

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movement in

western

Add an article

the western

show examples

world

Change the noun form

worlds

show examples

such

as Europe and

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

For example

, the most famous Korean

boy-band

Correct your spelling

boy band

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called

Add a missing verb

is called

show examples

"BTS" representative from the UN. They released a new song called "permission to dance" to encourage

young

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the young

show examples

generation from

lossing

Correct your spelling

losing

happiness

Replace the word

happy

show examples

emotion in daily life during the COVID-19 era. The creation of

music

Correct article usage

a music

show examples

beat is easy, you do not need an expensive instrument for making new friends. You already have your own hands to start a simple beat. Every kind of

music

has

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own character, your favourite ones could be emotional classical or EDM dance or even both.

For Instance

, many street performers who perform interesting

music

on the wat home could brighten up our day during the weekend while we spending

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable time with

friend

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friends

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and family.

Also

In conclusion,

music

is the simplest way to communicate between different

culture

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cultures

show examples

without speaking. Not only the UN that use

a cheerful

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cheerful music

a piece of cheerful music

show examples

music

to convey a certain message to

world

citizen.

Moreover

Music

could

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the level of happiness in life and make

the

Correct article usage

show examples

greater change in social happened.

Submitted by tanat30635.ts on Fri Oct 01 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your opinion

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of plants and animals are declining. why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

many people spend less time with their family. what could be the reasons for this. is this a negetive or possitive trend