IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interest, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interest
It has been always argued that why some associations ask their employees to give some personal knowledge
such
 as marital status and some communities find it unnecessary, whereas others believe that it is necessary. In the forthcoming ,paragraphs I shall explain
both
 views. On the one hand, it may seem strange to ask about some private data when people tend to apply for work.
For example
, they have been asked to introduce their pastimes and tell about their hobbies and in some cases are asked about their marital status, which is an absolute confidential issue. ,
Additionally
 for some jobs , candidates it is really beyond their grasp that how
such
 information can help firms to find a proper workforce and how much population can land a profession through giving these  pieces of info.
Moreover
, owing to not having job security no one dare to give
such
 secret data to the association before making sure that they have a permanent career.
On the other hand
, It is in
both
 firms and staff members benefit to share these items because for one thing through
this
 way employers can know more about their employees not only in terms of their capabilities, but
also
 by doing so collections can select a proper person who can satisfy all their needs,
for instance
, they have a football team and there is a job applicant covering
both
 career responsibility and taking part in their team sports, so it can be beneficial for
both
 sides. Psychologically speaking, employers through asking these questions can know more about their staff characteristics and by doing so improve their productivity. In conclusion, even though there are some communities that argue that asking about personal material while applying for a position is  unpractical, I personally tend to the proponents of
this
 view who believe that sharing these items with corporations can be useful.
Submitted by godbaman93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: