IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behavior #action
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Nowadays, some
people
Use synonyms
are imitate
Change the verb form
are imitating
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Add an article
the person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who
are
Change the verb form
is
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 look good in lifestyle ,so they buying
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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unessential
things
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 that make yourself look better. No-brainer
people
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 only
care
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the
Change preposition
about the
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 sight of
other human
Change the wording
another human
other humans
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. To my way of thinking, society
affect
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affects
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 to
mindset
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the mindset
a mindset
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 of
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
, some rural
people
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 came
in
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to
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 the city to do their careers but at
Linking Words
first
Add a comma
,first
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 they
not
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did not
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 have enough money to consume something in the department store. When they look at the city citizens who have money for having dinner at the restaurant or buying a luxuries
eccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 or watching
a movies
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movies
a movie
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 in
theatre
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the theatre
a theatre
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. They might
also
Linking Words
 have the idea of wanting to do some of those
things
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. Only
care
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 about the eyes that
people
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 look at themselves whether they would see us as weird or not without them. By normally, human
behavior
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behaviour
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 usually
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care
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cares
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the
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about the
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 sight of
unknown
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an unknown
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 person and
worried
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is worried
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 about how they will talk about themselves. Regardless of whether they have enough money to buy those unnecessary
things
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 or not. That made
people
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 get a debt and feeling unhappiness later. By the way, if those
people
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 are our peers we could tell them to should be satisfied with what they have. Do not
care
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 about the way that other
people
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 look at you and not pay attention to the many words that no one knows say bad
things
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 to you. The best felicitate is your mind, just smiling.
People
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 who are no-brainer be anxious with the words that come out of the mouths of bad
people
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 usually colourless. To summarize, we
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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to
Replace the word
too
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 nervous about that no one
knows
Add the particle
toknows
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 say
anythings
Correct your spelling
anything
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, just be by yourself, have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confidence
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 yourself. As the saying goes " No debt is a great fortune. "
Submitted by plsmckc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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