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Band 4.5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behavior #action
Nowadays, some
people
are imitate
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are imitating
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Add an article
the person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who
are
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is
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 look good in lifestyle ,so they buying
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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unessential
things
 that make yourself look better. No-brainer
people
 only
care
the
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about the
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 sight of
other human
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another human
other humans
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. To my way of thinking, society
affect
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affects
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 to
mindset
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the mindset
a mindset
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 of
people
.
For example
, some rural
people
 came
in
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to
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 the city to do their careers but at
first
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,first
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 they
not
Add a missing verb
did not
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 have enough money to consume something in the department store. When they look at the city citizens who have money for having dinner at the restaurant or buying a luxuries
eccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 or watching
a movies
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movies
a movie
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 in
theatre
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the theatre
a theatre
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. They might
also
 have the idea of wanting to do some of those
things
. Only
care
 about the eyes that
people
 look at themselves whether they would see us as weird or not without them. By normally, human
behavior
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behaviour
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 usually
care
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cares
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the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 sight of
unknown
Add an article
an unknown
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 person and
worried
Add a missing verb
is worried
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 about how they will talk about themselves. Regardless of whether they have enough money to buy those unnecessary
things
 or not. That made
people
 get a debt and feeling unhappiness later. By the way, if those
people
 are our peers we could tell them to should be satisfied with what they have. Do not
care
 about the way that other
people
 look at you and not pay attention to the many words that no one knows say bad
things
 to you. The best felicitate is your mind, just smiling.
People
 who are no-brainer be anxious with the words that come out of the mouths of bad
people
 usually colourless. To summarize, we
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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to
Replace the word
too
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 nervous about that no one
knows
Add the particle
toknows
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 say
anythings
Correct your spelling
anything
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, just be by yourself, have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confidence
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 yourself. As the saying goes " No debt is a great fortune. "
Submitted by plsmckc on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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