Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people feel that family
life
is being harmed by the
high-speed
Correct your spelling
high speed
show examples
and pressure of contemporary lifestyles. I totally agree with
this
notion because fast pace leads to financial demands and stress leads to arguments between family members. The main reason why I believe family
life
is being compromised is because of the
desiration
Correct your spelling
desperation
destination
to earn more money. People are now materialistic along with the progress of rapid urbanization. The higher salaries they get, the more they are fulfilled , which results in
Add an article
a situation
the situation
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
that they try to find jobs and
money making
Add a hyphen
money-making
show examples
opportunities, not only one but
also
two or even more
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
.
As a result
, there is always a hectic schedule accompanied by less or no time left for their family. Another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
my support for
this
opinion is stressful conditions bring about every
quarrels
Fix the agreement mistake
quarrel
show examples
in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
. If there is so much strain in daily living, people will easily get angry and usually irritate anyone else. To illustrate, when I come back home after a hard-working day with tiredness, I will always complain and argue with my brother just due to something insignificant or not worth mentioning. After that, I even have
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
show examples
attitude, disrespecting speech and refuse to reconcile with him in spite of his depression . So it is
mutual
Add an article
a mutual
show examples
understanding
that is
needed right
then
,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
we will weaken family bonding ourselves. In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that new living and burdens of modern
life
impact negatively on the whole family in general and each individual
in particular
. In short,
this
is caused by economic needs as well as disputes which should be eliminated for
perfection
Add an article
the perfection
show examples
of family
life
.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: