Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There are some various points of view about positive or negative consequences of grouping
people
by
music
to clarified
people
cultures and
ages
. While there are some disadvantages to grouping
people
by
music
desires, personally believe the benefits are far more.
To begin
with,
people
in our life based on different a social position, and in different
ages
has
different
Add an article
a different
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priority. There are some general parameters about grouping
people
one of these are
music
.
Hence
, researchers can find some future about
this
point in different
ages
.
For instance
, when we focus on the middle age
people
, they mostly like
listen
Fix the infinitive
to listen
show examples
to
a classic
Remove the article
classic music
a piece of classic music
show examples
music
. Because
,
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apply
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they really prefer
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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relaxation time after a complex day. So, they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
able to attract
a
Remove the article
apply
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positive
energy
after hearing that kind of
music
. As well as, a young man mostly has
over flow
Correct your spelling
overflow
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energy
so tend to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
existing songs like that
a rock
Remove the article
rock music
a piece of rock music
show examples
music
they usually like to go
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
party, and concert to run
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
mechanical
energy
then
they will have a good feeling.
Besides
, some teenagers tend to pop
music
they
believes
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believe
show examples
that
this
is a good
way
to consuming their own
energy
. Regarding the fact that
,
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apply
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there are many parameters between the same age population in every
social
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society
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.
Last
but not least, in modern industrial
county
Add a comma
,county
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people
mostly tend to have an academic subject to gain a well-paid job, and make a regular
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
For instance
, young teenagers after graduation from high school usually start an academic subject, in between in free time for recovering mind they prefer to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
a pop
Remove the article
pop music
a piece of pop music
show examples
music
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
music
type is not more exciting and
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
boring. So, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
common future about
this
type. In traditional places,
people
in order to
ern
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
money needs to keep traditional
music
so based on
this
way
they can gain
good
Add an article
a good
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source of money. Due to the reasons mentioned
above
Add a comma
,above
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I would argue that
music
is a
profit
Replace the word
profitable
show examples
way
for grouping of different cultures and
ages
.
In other words
,
people
when placed in different social positions have the same desire.
For example
, a
middle age
Add a hyphen
middle-age
show examples
person needs relaxation, yang man needs
excitement
Replace the word
exciting
show examples
activities, teenagers need protest.
Moreover
,
this
is a good
way
to
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
ern
Correct your spelling
earn
show examples
money and make emotional sentences. So,
music
is an essential parameter to clarified
people
.
Submitted by milad_comet_68 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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