Governments should not provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.

#governments #care #support #people #responsibility #person #retirement

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should be responsible

Change preposition

for supporting

show examples

support

its people as

community

Add an article

the community

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contributes in many ways to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society. In my opinion, I disagree that should not provide and

support

its people.

To begin

with,

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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the

ones

Correct your spelling

one

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who produces the most of the budget that they are using to make projects and build infrastructures that

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

are using.

For example

, in the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Philippines they are supporting their nations by making different institutes that

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to save their income for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future use.

In addition

, workers in the Philippines are obliged to pay taxes

according to

their income, it is

also

mandatory for local employees and overseas workers to pay some of the public sector that benefits them like Pag-Ibig which

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

and

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

education, PhilHealth which benefits them during hospitalization and purchasing medicines, another sector that can help them for loaning and retirement is the SSS. These are some of

Add an article

the

show examples

department that provides to

support

its people inside and

out

Change preposition

outside

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of the country.

Furthermore

, they

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

retirement

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

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who

served

Wrong verb form

serve

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the nation like teachers, soldiers, doctors, police and many more as they

are reached

Wrong verb form

reach

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the age of 60.

Agency

Fix the agreement mistake

Agencies

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are entitled to give them financial

support

even

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

are not living anymore as long as they have their beneficiaries, help and care still be provided. Even the young workers can still add their elder member of the family to their beneficiary which covers them in all the benefits that they are paying. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

each of us should be responsible

to plan

Change preposition

for planning

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our future. The government can

support

us by providing different facilities to help us when we are old.

However

, working and saving can be beneficial too which ever unforeseen event can happen we are ready and not depending only

Change preposition

show examples

the administration. Better to save for the future that can guarantee us no matter what

happen

Change the verb form

happens

show examples

Submitted by ding on Tue Oct 05 2021

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

312 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should not provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves.

References from previous employers are important for some employers when making hiring decisions. why do you think that references are important to employers ? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

Some people think that government should control the amount of violence in the films and TV programs, in order to reduce the crimes in the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?