Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour.

The violence created due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television shows and computer
games
are
Change the verb form
is
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a rising cause in
Correct your spelling
today's
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
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society. Kids are influenced into believing things that are showcase on both TV and
games
. I believe that
such
small changes in life choices create an impact
to
Change preposition
on
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the growth of society as a whole.
Firstly
, the idiot box contains more information than required at most times. The reason these shows are produced is to attract
audience
Add an article
an audience
the audience
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and to normalize topics that previously used to feel alien. Real depictions of events that are violent and gore.
For instance
, in a series called Black mirror. A little child murders people in his own family because they trouble him about doing his homework.
Secondly
,
games
that are played on the computer are exposing kids to violence and giving them the feeling of being
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
super human
Correct your spelling
superhuman
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. With a click of a
button
Add a comma
,button
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there is a bomb or a
Correct your spelling
gunshot
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gun shot
Correct your spelling
gunshot
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, where the situation of panic arises.
Hence
a sense of freedom without control is established.
For example
, when someone plays GTA. The player is in control of all the behaviour patterns of looting, killing and taking drugs. All in All, I feel that there will be a large amount of
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
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with
the
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apply
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behavioural patterns with
involvement
Correct article usage
the involvement
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of television and
games
.
Submitted by sandeep.p1296 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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