IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as smartphones, are making people less socially active. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that digital devices
such
Linking Words
 as
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are responsible for increasing socially isolated
users
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 are not using less
time
Use synonyms
 for social activities by using
smartphones
Use synonyms
, but they are
also
Linking Words
 becoming lonely by playing mobile
games
Use synonyms
 all the
time
Use synonyms
.
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 are addictive, and
users
Use synonyms
 spend hours due to their interactive mobile applications. The main reason is that most applications are designed for the
sign up
Join the words
signup
sign-up
show examples
 process which requires an hour to complete in some cases. So,
users
Use synonyms
 may be holding their phones for a long
time
Use synonyms
 for completing their subscription process. As
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are consuming enough
time
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 will be having less
time
Use synonyms
 available for social activities.  Another reason for social isolation is related to the excessive use of mobile
games
Use synonyms
. It is because of
games
Use synonyms
 developers who are not only creating interactive
games
Use synonyms
 for all types, but they are making various stages in every game which is forcing players to spend extra
time
Use synonyms
 on the phone rather than meeting some friends.
For example
Linking Words
, In China, the popularity of social platforms
such
Linking Words
 as cafe and park meetings are decreasing because of an increase in mobile phone
users
Use synonyms
 who loves to play
games
Use synonyms
 rather than going outside. In conclusion, we examined that how
smartphones
Use synonyms
 have become the source of
time
Use synonyms
 wastage and social isolation, and how
people
Use synonyms
 have less
time
Use synonyms
 for social gatherings as they are playing
games
Use synonyms
 on their cell phones.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: