Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about the

age

for

retirement

. Some

people

argue that there should be a fixed

age

for

retirement

irrespective of the works at the same time few others opine

this

. In my opinion, certain heavy jobs need early

retirement

because when years progress the

people

will feel difficulties to do

such

kind of works.

This

essay will examine the topic in detail with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

, old

age

is considered a

second

childhood. So, it is important to set free

people

as early as possible by offering a genuine pension as an honour of their work for the company.

Moreover

, nowadays the life expectancy of humans

also

declining because of

this

people

are not getting quality time with their children. So, letting them free at least by sixty years will be good for them to have some happy moments with their family members. Apart from

this

, during old

age

, the

people

will fall into sickness easily and due to

this

, they will struggle to perform well in their job.

Secondly

, certain jobs need early

retirement

For example

, driving jobs. Because when ageing,

people

may lose their eyesight and they can meet with accidents if they sustain in the same job. Another one is, lifting heavy items. During old

age

, the physical strength will decrease and most of them may land up with arthritis or joint pains due to the lack of calcium in the bones. Because of

this

, the above-mentioned task will be really daunting for them.

Moreover

, the worst one is dementia.

This

purely

Replace the adverb

pure

show examples

because of ageing and job stress. So, the

people

who hold a

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

position in a company should seek an early

retirement

before getting into

this

Finally

, old

age

is really a blessing if the person is healthy to manage himself both physically and financially.

Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on Sat Oct 09 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animals. Is it justified or there is any alternative? To what extent do you agree or diagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.