IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

under British and Australian laws a jury is a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case do you agree or disagree ? Give reason for your answer

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It is debatable whether or not the
jury
Use synonyms
 has access to the defendant’s past criminal information.
While
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 some people may think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
past records may provide additional details, others believe that it is highly harmful to the accused person. Personally speaking, I may not agree with the
afore- mentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
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 statement as I tend to believe that old activities have no right to be involved in today’s cases. Despite the fact that people can change and grow after what they have been through, apparently
Add a comma
,
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communities still tend to judge people by connecting their past characters easily.
Moreover
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, it is wiser by any chance to weigh only the present facts and evidence as the former facts have already been passed. By way of illustration
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
jury
Use synonyms
 may have accused the wrong person just because one has a bad criminal report.
Thus
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, to ,me it is only fair to exclude the earlier reports.
On the other hand
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, another opinion to consider is that repeated bad behaviours should be punished harder than the first one.
Consequently
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, in
this
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 case, the
jury
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 needs to know if one had made a similar action in the past.
However
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, given
this
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 circumstance
to
Replace the word
too
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,
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 it is better to not
implicate
Fix the infinitive
to implicate
show examples
this
Linking Words
 belief. Like the previous statement, I am deeply concerned that a decision may not be valid if the
jury
Use synonyms
 had the previous files.
To conclude
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, what British and Australian laws have done to hide the former facts
sound
Correct subject-verb agreement
sounds
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 right
for
Change preposition
to
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me. An accountable judgement can be made if only the
jury
Use synonyms
 excluded past
defendants
Change noun form
defendants'
defendant's
show examples
 records.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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