IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Recently, some organizations think that their subordinates should dress gracefully.
However
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, others believe that focusing on other things,
such
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 as their performances, rather than their external
image
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 is much more important for the development of a
company
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. In
this
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 essay, both views will be discussed in detail in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, it is true that to make a
company
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's staff get dressed formally will upgrade the
company
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's
image
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. According to many successful businessmen around the world, the
company
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’s
image
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 is very important for the
company
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 to attract new customers within 1 to 5 seconds.
For example
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, if we would like to open a cafe, we should decorate our cafe to look more attractive than our competitors.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 many
companies
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 that do not mainly focus on how their employees dress as they believe that the employee's working performances are much more important than
this
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.
Instead
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, workers are allowed to choose their own costumes.
For example
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, a lot of technology
companies
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: Huawei, Apple, and Samsung do not need to dress formally like bankers, accountants, or hotel managers. In conclusion, we will see that some
companies
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 strictly set the employee's rules about their uniform because they believe that
this
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 might have a large impact on the
company
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’s success.
However
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, many
companies
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, like Huawei, Apple, or Samsung, believes that focusing on employees’ quality of work is more essential for the
companies
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 success than focusing on the
image
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 of the
company
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.
Submitted by chansatid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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