IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. other people think the government should focus on social services such as health and education programs which statement do you agree with? explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

#people #government #focus #economy #country #services #health #education #programs #support
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In a
country
Use synonyms
 there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different kinds of mental
people
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 are available, I mean their thoughts are different in one another.
Therefore
Linking Words
 some are thinking that
government
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 should
focus
Use synonyms
 on improving the
economy
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 and others are considering that the
government
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 should
focus
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 on services like health and education programs. The
government
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 should
focus
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 on all sectors in order to develop the
country
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. if the
country
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 development means both the
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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 mention above must need full. even though
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree that the
government
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 must consider mainly economic
growth
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. As I
mention
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mentioned
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 in the above paragraph, if the
government
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 mainly
focus
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
growth
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 will take care of the rest of the
country
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 problems. for ,example if the
country
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 needs to make the social service activity,
first
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 of ,all it needs a
welth
Correct your spelling
wealth
well
. to increase the wealth they need
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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growth
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. once the
country
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 is good in ,
wealth
Add an article
the wealth
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 they can fulfil the
people
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 fundamental needs
such
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 as health , public transport education programs and other social activities. In a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
country
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 there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different kinds of
people
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 in money wise . according to that there need will be changed. the poor they consider on social activity, meanwhile the richest they
focus
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 on economic
growth
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. In conclusion, the
people
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 thoughts are indifferent but in my ,viewpoint if the
government
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 considered the
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
Use synonyms
growth
Replace the word
grows
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 it will lead the other sector
also
Linking Words
 as well as. mainly
government
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 should
focus
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in
Change preposition
on
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 every sector because that will be like the father of a county. to maintain all activities
country
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 need money there for
economy
Use synonyms
 must be
focus
Use synonyms
 mainly.
Submitted by kannskan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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