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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The diagrams below show UK students' responses to the question of to what extent would they describe themselves as financially organised. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show UK students' responses to the question of to what extent would they describe themselves as financially organised. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #uk #students #responses #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Two of the diagrams above show UK
students
' responses
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 how financially organised they describe themselves. More than two-thirds of the respondents, 76% to be exact, believe they are either fairly organized or very organized. The table shows the information
that is
 highlighted here, and
that is
 the
students
 that answered very organized, which is 21% of all respondents. There are three categories in the table, '
age
 up to 22
years
,' '
age
 23-25
years
,' and '
age
 over 26
years
.' The first category shows that
students
 with
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 up to 22
years
 take up 18% of the total
students
 that describe themselves as very organized. The
second
 category shows that
students
 with
age
 23-25
years
 are 26% of the total
students
 that responded
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 very organized.
Lastly
, the
third
 category shows that 35% of the
students
 that answered with very organized are
students
 with
age
 over 26
years
.
This
 research shows that the ability to organize financial matters increases
along with
age
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the findings, we can conclude that UK
students
' are quite financially organized.
Submitted by c.rayasukmojati on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, age, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "describe" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 6 times.
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