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Writing Samples
Band 4

I would like to introduce myself as Raj Navinkumar Patel hereby sincerely state the following purpose of pursuing my studies in United Kingdom. I am

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I would like to introduce myself as Raj Navinkumar Patel hereby sincerely state the following purpose of pursuing my studies in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom. I am an ambitious and enthusiastic person and want to provide myself
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 best
education
Use synonyms
. I have enrolled myself for the
course
Use synonyms
 of ….. I have acquired my S.S.C
education
Use synonyms
 With 84.66 % from Gujarat Secondary
Education
Use synonyms
 Board in the year 2014 and I had done completed my HSC with
94.36
Correct article usage
a 94.36
show examples
 Percentile Rank from Gujarat Secondary Higher
Education
Use synonyms
 Board in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2016. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 I had done my Bachelor of Technology(B.Tech.) in Mechanical Engineering From
institute
Correct article usage
the institute
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 of infrastructure Technology Research And Management (IITRAM) in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2021. I had participated
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
plethora of extracurricular activities
such
Linking Words
 as debate
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
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, taking seminars and robotics
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
. These gave me opportunities to execute my
knowledge
Use synonyms
. So, by taking
….
Add an article
a…. course
the…. course
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course
Use synonyms
 in mechanical engineering from your esteemed institution, I wish to enter a
world
Use synonyms
 of complete
knowledge
Use synonyms
 regarding the …. .I strongly opine that the
course
Use synonyms
 that your institution is offering in the field of mechanical engineering fits directly into my career map. I came to
this
Linking Words
 conclusion after a thorough investigation of the courses and subjects that you are offering as a part of
this
Linking Words
course
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. I was specifically drawn towards the section on …
course
Use synonyms
 details…. , it convinced me
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the fact that
this
Linking Words
 is exactly the
course
Use synonyms
 that I wish to pursue. What added to
this
Linking Words
 is the fact that your
university
Use synonyms
 is deemed to be the best in the field of engineering as it merges in its curriculum both the theoretical and practical aspects
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
course
Use synonyms
. As
this
Linking Words
 program
designed
Add a missing verb
was designed
show examples
 with a specific focus of ….. By doing
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 I'll enrich my
knowledge
Use synonyms
 manage strategically both a business and teams within the workplace.
This
Linking Words
 will help in many areas of life and for my professional career too. I will get an opportunity to work
Change preposition
in as
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 managerial position or Senior Executive. I have chosen The
University
Use synonyms
 of ….
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 pursue my masters. It is a leading modern
university
Use synonyms
 with a strong reputation for teaching and research.
University
Use synonyms
 has achieved national and international recognition for the excellence of their teaching, research and innovation. Their main aim is to support
Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 by advising and offering a range of professional services. Their employability graph shows that most of
graduates
Add an article
the graduates
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 have got
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 after complete their graduation. They provide a plethora of facilities
such
Linking Words
 as library support and academic skills
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
. It
also
Linking Words
 provides Internship opportunities to
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. U NAME….. has a specific team within Student Services dedicated to supporting international
students
Use synonyms
. Here
so
Add a missing verb
are so
show examples
 many benefits to
study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of …………. One of the main reasons to choose
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 as my preferred country for
further
Linking Words
 study is that the degrees and qualifications from
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 are known around the
world
Use synonyms
 as high quality and
Use synonyms
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
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. It is
Use synonyms
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 leading destination for international
students
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
The UK
show examples
 allows me to pursue vocational courses along with my main
course
Use synonyms
.
UK
Use synonyms
 campus represents multi-cultural diversity. Where
students
Use synonyms
 like me would benefit in terms of learning new cultures and traditions. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
International
Students
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
a UK
show examples
 degree is worth their financial investment for their graduation or
further
Linking Words
 study.
UK
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 have decades of experience in working with international
students
Use synonyms
. I want to pursue
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 to reach my goals. My main aim in the near future would be to have a complete and
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of wealth creation and wealth multiplication. I would like to contribute my might in the area of wealth creation and want to develop
such
Linking Words
 skills as may be required for decision making in a senior managerial capacity. I end my statement by looking forward to a positive response from you, which will help me reach my goals. I am fully aware of the fact that pursuing
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 requires a high level of intelligence, dedication and immense sacrifice. I am confident that I have the capability to contribute positively towards your esteemed
University
Use synonyms
 and with great hope, I eagerly wait for your benevolent act of accepting me into your fold and granting me
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
admission in my desired
course
Use synonyms
. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to express my thought to you. Best Regards, Raj Patel

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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