An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and heath care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

#children #terms #health #heath #care #costs

Obesity among

children

are

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increasing

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day-by-day

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day-by

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day by

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day.

Parents

are forced to spend more on their health as being obese might result in many health issues. I think bad eating habits in youngsters results in

overweight

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being overweight

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. The

parents

should keep a track of eating for their

kids

. The most important point ,

children

nowadays are lazy, and they have

very

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a very

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bad eating

schedule

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schedules

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which

make

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makes

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them obese.

Parents

should always see what their

kids

are eating. They should make sure that their

kids

are indulge

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are indulging

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in physical activities. Through the advancement of technology,

children

are more inclined towards playing video games

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apply

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and spending more

time

on mobile phones. They should set a schedule for everything, and make sure that they are doing it.

For example

, earlier

children

does

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not have access to

mobile

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a mobile

the mobile

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phone

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phones

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that’s why they are healthy. The

time

spend

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spends

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mobile

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a mobile

show examples

phone

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phones

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should be reduced.to a limited number of hours. Another point

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, in this case,

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this

case is that

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apply

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Parents

do not have enough

time

to spend with their

children

, they are too busy that they hire maids to take care of them.

Parents

should encourage

children

to eat less fatty foods as

kids

only want to have

food

which

are

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delicious and, delicious

food

are

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most of the

time

are full of fats, carbohydrates and , among others. They should encourage them to play games which helps them to improve their mental health. They should give them

the

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apply

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home cooked

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home-cooked

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meals as they are prepared in clean surroundings, and with less oil.

For example

, even most

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apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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dieticians prefer to have

home cooked

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home-cooked

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food

as it will have all the nutrients for

children

to grow, and will not make

kids

fat. In conclusion, lack of physical and mental activity trend among

children

make them obese.

Parents

have to put in efforts and spare

time

for their

children

to make sure they get

home cooked

Add a hyphen

home-cooked

show examples

food

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and participate in physical activities

also

Submitted by tushar.chaudharytc on Fri Oct 15 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and heath care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadaysthan in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some school are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, While other schools have a very relaxed dress code. (What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?)