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Band 5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having problem?

#people #debt #behavior #action
Nowadays, there are many interesting
things
 that we want to buy. There are some
people
 who
have
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do have
show examples
 not enough money and get into debt to be able to purchase those
things
.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and the solution to prevent
this
 problem. There are many
reasons
 behind
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Firstly
, nowadays, advertisements influence
people
 more than ever before. There are many channels to advertise,
such
 as on television, in
Add an article
a newspaper
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or even on the internet. These make
people
 want to be trendy and want to buy
things
 with the latest version.
Moreover
,
status
Add an article
the status
show examples
 issue is one of the
reasons
 why
people
 want to afford expensive objects.
People
 tend to have thoughts about having expensive
things
 means they have high
status
 in their society. The more
high
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high-status
show examples
status
people
 see
,
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apply
show examples
 the more opportunities come.
That is
 why
people
 want to earn more valuable objects even though they can not
afford
Correct pronoun usage
themafford
show examples
.
Consequently
, they have to mortgage to be able to own those
high
Add a hyphen
high-status
show examples
status
things
.
However
, educating
people
 about
finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 literacy is one of the solutions to prevent those problems. When
people
 know how to manage their money,
people
 will become more careful about their expenditure and try to figure out how to earn more money to be able to buy whatever they want. In conclusion,
although
 advertisement and
status
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 are
reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 getting into debt to purchase
things
 that
people
 do not need and can not afford, we can prevent these problems by educating about financial literacy to citizens of their countries.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • financial literacy
  • impulse buying
  • credit score
  • debt management
  • sustainable living
  • emotional spending
  • budgeting skills
  • peer pressure
  • retail therapy
  • frugality
  • credit limit
  • financial counseling
  • minimalistic lifestyle
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