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Band 5.5

Some people believe that video games are beneficial to children whereas others believe that it has negative effects.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #video #games #children #effects
It might be considered by some
people
 that playing
video
games
 is of great significance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
However
, Other
people
 think that
video
games
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 in a negative way. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that these activities have a significant positive effect on
children
's development. On the one hand, it is frequently thought that
video
games
 have a lot of advantages for
children
 and I agree. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 few years of life,
children
's brains are undergoing certain crucial developmental phases, and playing
video
games
 during these years aids
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
children
 to develop fine motor skills more appropriately.
Furthermore
, it enhances their chances of better development of hand-eye coordination skills, which, in later life can help them build a successful career by becoming a great
laproscopic
Correct your spelling
laparoscopic
 surgeon, a well-trained engineer or a fine artist.
On the other hand
, some
people
 might not support the idea of indulging the younger
children
 in
such
 activities because of the fear of wastage of time and resources. In their view, they consider
video
 gaming as an unhealthy and unconstructive way of spending time and money. According to them, there can be better ways to utilise the valuable time of their
children
,
for example
 playing outdoor
games
 or letting them play indoor
games
 with their siblings etc,
hence
 trying to stop the use of
video
games
 in their homes. In conclusion, while
people
 have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that it is very crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 to play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
games
 because it enhances their brain's ability to learn fine motor skills, and
hence
, allowing them to have better career options in future.
Submitted by nailaheramedhat on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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