Some people believe that video games are beneficial to children whereas others believe that it has negative effects.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It might be considered by some
people
that playing
video
games
is of great significance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
However
, Other
people
think that
video
games
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
in a negative way. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
consider that these activities have a significant positive effect on
children
's development. On the one hand, it is frequently thought that
video
games
have a lot of advantages for
children
and I agree. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
few years of life,
children
's brains are undergoing certain crucial developmental phases, and playing
video
games
during these years aids
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
children
to develop fine motor skills more appropriately.
Furthermore
, it enhances their chances of better development of hand-eye coordination skills, which, in later life can help them build a successful career by becoming a great
laproscopic
Correct your spelling
laparoscopic
surgeon, a well-trained engineer or a fine artist.
On the other hand
, some
people
might not support the idea of indulging the younger
children
in
such
activities because of the fear of wastage of time and resources. In their view, they consider
video
gaming as an unhealthy and unconstructive way of spending time and money. According to them, there can be better ways to utilise the valuable time of their
children
,
for example
playing outdoor
games
or letting them play indoor
games
with their siblings etc,
hence
trying to stop the use of
video
games
in their homes. In conclusion, while
people
have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
consider that it is very crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
to play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
games
because it enhances their brain's ability to learn fine motor skills, and
hence
, allowing them to have better career options in future.
Submitted by nailaheramedhat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: