IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think charity organization should help people in great need wherever they live. However, others think they should help people in their own country. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #charity #organization #country
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There are some discussions about whether the
charity
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 corporation should only focus on the domestic or should benefit
on
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all
people
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 wherever they live. From my standpoint, I reckon that the
charity
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organisation
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 should help persons no
matter
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 where they live. The
mercy
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 operation should help individuals in great need no
matter
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 where they are. To be specific, some developing
countries
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 are more needing help from
charity
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 organisations than
the
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developed
countries
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.
For example
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, many
of
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doctors who come from other
countries
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 went to
the
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Africa to help the
local
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locals
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, to heal their disease, due to the lack of medical
condition
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conditions
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 in the local. So the
resident
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residents
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 need aid from the other
countries
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charity
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organisation
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,
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 and the
mercy
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 operation should help
people
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 no
matter
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 where they live.
Besides
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,
people
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 who need help are impartible, and can not be differentiated by their national background. Human is a whole in the planet, no
matter
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 their distinctions in races, faiths, education or property. The key goal of the
charity
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 is to benefit
for
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the human, not a single country,
therefore
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 the
mercy
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organisation
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 are responsible to other
countries
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’ citizens too. So the
charity
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 should help
people
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 in
the
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great need wherever they are.
On the other hand
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, There
Linking Words
also
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are also
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 has some reasons that the
charity
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organisation
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 should help
people
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 in their own country. Because the
mercy
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 operation
understand
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understands
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 their own national conditions,
hence
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 they are adapted to local conditions for assistance, to provide appropriate aid in their motherland, so their aid will be better than others. In conclusion, helping
people
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 who from domestic or foreign
countries
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 are both have positive or negative aspects. Whereas I still believe that the
charity
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 corporation should help
people
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 no
matter
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 where they live. Because all lives are worth living, and the
charity
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 corporation
are
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is
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 able to
makes
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make
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 the mission successfully.
Submitted by fanganqi79 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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