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Band 5

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
Every country has their own
health
services
 criteria.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 if it provided free in the whole world, it would be more
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the
people
 who
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 afford the basic medical treatments. Due to the fact that half of the population nowadays suffering from common
health
 issues
such
 as Diabetes, Blood pressure related problems and thyroid. But due to lack of adequate income
people
 are not able to afford the proper treatment and some of them die without getting any medication for that. Availing free medical
services
 are the best thing, one country can do to their
people
. Even though if it
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 include
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 medical treatments which are way too expensive and requires highly equipped surgery rooms and medicines, it should cover basic medications and surgeries. Government should make mandatory medical insurance for everyone which can help them avail
the
Correct pronoun usage
themselves the
show examples
 free cure at any hospital excluding certain treatments.
Moreover
, based on their income they should cover
such
health
services
 for each individual.
For example
, if a person is earning more than 20k per month, he can avail
excluded
Change preposition
of excluded
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services
 without any discount while
on the other hand
 if a person is earning 5000 per month can get the full
non covering
Add a hyphen
non-covering
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 treatment
also
 at no cost.
This
 way everyone can get their basic needs to keep themselves healthy and
nobosy
Correct your spelling
nobody
 would die or suffer from any
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
. In conclusion, free
health
 care facility is very beneficial to the common
people
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 less source of money to get the best medicines and proper treatment. It should be free worldwide.
Submitted by brijal_desai on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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