IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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Social Service plays
a
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an
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 important part in the welfare of the community. Developing
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 at a young age is very crucial for society.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that welfare service for the community should be mandatory in high school. Our Society is a mix of
different
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a different
the different
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class
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classes
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 of people, but equal contribution is the only way to develop our neighbourhood. Non-profit organisations and
government
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governments
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 spend a lot
for
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on
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 maintaining institutions for the elderly and orphans. The Funding aspect from the government and public is not enough, Volunteering for
such
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 activities is equally important.
Therefore
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, Teenagers are the best option for helping
such
Linking Words
 institutions.
This
Linking Words
 is a good way to teach them
sense
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a sense
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 of
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responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
towrads
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towards
 society. While some parents do not agree to
having
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have
show examples
 their children work for
such
Linking Words
services
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, It has to be made compulsory for every high school student to contribute some help towards these.
Furthermore
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, These
services
Use synonyms
 should be unpaid as students should consider it as a
Use synonyms
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 and not a job as most students are supported by their parents at
this
Linking Words
 age, extra scores
is
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are
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 sufficient to encourage
chidren
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children
 towards these
services
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, These
services
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 are the backbone to
maintian
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maintain
 equal opportunity among the people. The government alone cannot support them without the help of people. Helping with cleaning the neighbourhood can develop a positive attitude among youngsters.
Also
Linking Words
, helping the orphans learning new activities
such
Linking Words
 as sports can help the nation produce athletes for worldwide competitions. Donation activities can help the poor and need to sustain the cost of living. In conclusion, I firmly believe that community
services
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 should be mandatory for promoting
Use synonyms
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsible
 and
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 attitude among youngsters and Providing
addtional
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additional
 scores in academics can more important than money for these school children.
Submitted by roshan.rebello22 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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