IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People doing dangerous sports activities scuba driving and bungee jumping, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that
people
Use synonyms
 doing dangerous
sports
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activities
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be responsible for their own
life
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 and rescue
workers
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 should not risk their lives to save
people
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. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and the following examples will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why
people
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 dangerous
sports
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activities
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 is that nowadays hazardous
sports
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are likely become
Change to the active voice
likely become
have likely become
show examples
 popular in certain groups of
people
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therefore
Linking Words
people
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 doing
such
Linking Words
 as scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own
life
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. Because they should know before that
this
Linking Words
 kind of activity is dangerous and have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, according to the latest research conducted by Bangkok University. It revealed that 70
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of
people
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 who
doing
Change the form of the verb
do
show examples
 extreme
sports
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 tend to have overall knowledge related to those
activities
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. Another reason of support
this
Linking Words
 is the fact that rescue
workers
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 are not
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to save
people
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 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
the dangerous
show examples
lifestyle
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
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 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
hazardous
Correct article usage
a hazardous
show examples
lifestyle
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 should maintain their own
life
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. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
recant
Correct your spelling
recent
show examples
 news it has been reported that aid
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 who went to
rescued
Change the form of the verb
rescue
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who had dangerous
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lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 died while on their duty. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that
people
Use synonyms
 doing dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
, they should be responsible for their own
life
Use synonyms
 and rescue
workers
Use synonyms
 should not risk their lives to save
people
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 hazardous
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 should maintain their own
life
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, and aid
workers
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 are not
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to save
people
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherent risk
  • assume full responsibility
  • acknowledging
  • engagement
  • unduly
  • voluntary risks
  • extreme sports enthusiasts
  • strict safety protocols
  • mandatory training
  • mitigate
  • thrill
  • personal satisfaction
  • endangering
  • rescue personnel
  • drain public resources
  • divert emergency services
  • critical interventions
  • personal accountability
  • consequences
  • moral and practical burden
What to do next:
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