Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Technologies
are brought to enhance the quality of outcomes and also
it has been applied to all fields, whereas
workers are likely to be decreasing needs instead
. In my opinion, I totally agree with this
statement, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view.
To begin
with, the most important reason is that reducing incidences caused by human errors might lead to waste a huge amount of money to solve the situations. Therefore
, humans
have invented new technologies
to prevent mistakes that could happen. For instance
, according to
the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, it has been revealed that 80% of incidence rates are caused by human error like exhausted feelings from working overtime, inaccurate
decisions in urgent situations. So, bringing innovations to run the process would help reduce the incidence rates caused by Correct word choice
and inaccurate
human's
physical.
Change noun form
human
Secondly
, technologies
such
as Roberts
or machines are likely to save cost, Correct your spelling
robots
thus
many big businesses would like to invest in new equipment even
need to spend a lot of money. Correct word choice
and even
Additionally
, this
is likely to be worthy of investment because in the long term
they will need to maintain with less money. Add a comma
term,
For example
, in recent news, it has been reported that the most significant factor for applying for the
jobs of employees is Correct article usage
apply
the
welfare Correct article usage
apply
such
as annual leave, health insurance, privilege or even their family's welfare covering as well. Thus
, many companies tend to reconstruct the infrastructure of the company by using the
Correct article usage
apply
machine
of Fix the agreement mistake
machines
instead
humans
in order to save cost
and level Fix the agreement mistake
costs
quality
of products up.
In conclusion, I agree with those who think Correct article usage
the quality
technologies
take responsibility to replace humans
more and more at present; however
, I still believe eventually we need knowledge and experience from humans
to control the big picture of the business.Submitted by boon.suchaya on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay addresses the prompt adequately and provides relevant examples to support the opinion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly stated to present a strong position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas and presents relevant examples to support the opinion. However, the logical structure could be improved to create a more coherent and cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource used in the essay is quite good, with varied vocabulary and relevant language used. However, there are instances of awkward or inaccurate word choices that affect the clarity of the message.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of structures and vocabulary, but there are inconsistencies in grammatical accuracy, particularly in sentence structure and word choice. More grammatical variety and accuracy would enhance the clarity and precision of the essay.