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Band 5.5

Are men naturally more competitive than women? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women
Opinions are divided as to whether males typically compete with each other more than females. In my opinion, I strongly disagree that males have higher competition than women. There is the main reason why I argue that more men simply have high
competitions
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competition
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. In today's society, it is
a
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apply
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commonplace that females have a tendency to present their looks to be presentable in public in order to show their social status and personal tastes, leading
this
 gender has tended to highly compete
each
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with each
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 other when it comes to
be
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being
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 good-looking females.
For example
, when a girlfriend asked her boyfriend to eat out at restaurants, she commonly would wear an expensive dress and various precious accessories. In doing so, the rate of fashionable
trend
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trends
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 is on the rise in the field of women gender.
Conversely
, it does not mean that there is
not
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no
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Add an article
a
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common trend that almost every man tend to be stand out distinctly. There are a variety of fights that have been
doing
Wrong verb form
done
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 for men
such
 as boxing, peaching, risky activities and so on. which are considered as a competition of physical stamina. It is so since they want to be
strenghten
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strengthen
 and fit in the eyes of others, especially the opposite sex, leading them to have a fight whenever the disagreement of opinions or conflicts occur.
For instance
, in Thailand, almost all
of
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apply
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terrorists who
breaks
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break
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 the law can be seen
in
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as
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 being males while there
are
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is
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 fewer the number of
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women
womans
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women
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.
As a result
,
in
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apply
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the
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apply
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society would think that the competitive situation between men and women is very different. In conclusion, I can understand why some people have held the idea that
mans
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men
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 are always highly competitive with each other than
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women
woman
womans
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women
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, but it seems to me that both
of
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apply
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sexes have competition equally.
Submitted by Preawlinz on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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