IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#improvements #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #areas
Poor and under-developed
countries
 require a massive push towards the
development
 of their health, education and trade
infrastructure
. It is the responsibility of richer
nations
 to provide the necessary
support
 to these
countries
 for their constant
development
. The essay completely supports the notion that government and policymakers of richer
nations
 should provide constant help to poorer ones. The modern
world
 is facing a myriad of problems that equally affect rich and poor
nations
, which can only be mitigated by strong unified action by all
nations
 of the
world
. Climate change has shown that food security is at risk, which might impact poorer
countries
 before richer
nations
, but will eventually impact every citizen of the planet. Richer governments can help poor ones early in combating these threats by helping them improve the physical
infrastructure
. Covid is another example, which has impacted almost every person on the globe. Better health
infrastructure
 is required in underdeveloped
countries
 to fight the constant threat of new viruses, which can only be done by
support
 from rich
nations
.
Additionally
, people living in poor
countries
, still have no access to proper education, which has hindered the nation's
development
. It is quite imperative that educational
infrastructure
 needs to be developed and is only possible with the financial
support
 of rich
nations
. One can take an example of
countries
 in the Sub-Saharan region, where no universities were built in the
last
 100 years, due to their poor economic growth and
hence
 the
development
 of
this
 region has not improved.
Similarly
,
countries
 that received help and
support
 from richer
nations
 of the past, have shown multi-fold
development
. Japan can be an example, which has progressed heavily post the
second
world
 war, where the western
world
 provided the necessary
support
, to improve their educational
infrastructure
. It is quite evident that poorer
nations
 can not build themselves on their own, so regular and constant
support
 is required for their
development
.
This
 will not only help the nation but will
also
 provide a platform to fight global problems.
Submitted by abhishek.sparta on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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