IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are a university student living in on-campus accommodation. You are having some problems with the internet connection in your room. Write to the supervisor of your residence. In your letter  Introduce yourself  Inform him / her of the situation  Request that the problem be fixed Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write

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My name is Jenny Chen – a recently arrived overseas student currently staying in Unit 5 of Cassowary House.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I have found most of the facilities here quite satisfactory
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 far, I wish to lodge a complaint about the university’s internet system. Your student accommodation brochure, which I read closely prior to booking
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 room, indicated that I would have unlimited access to the Internet. Upon arrival,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I discovered that MSN Messenger and other
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 internet communication programs would not run properly. I discussed the matter with some of my fellow students who informed me that these programs had been blocked by the university. As you are no doubt aware, international phone calls are incredibly expensive
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

by
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 comparison with chatting online. Considering the high tuition fees we overseas students already pay, I feel it is entirely unreasonable to prevent us from seeking more affordable alternatives when it comes to communicating with loved ones at home. I was,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, wondering if you could unblock these programs
?
Change the punctuation
.

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

show examples
 Your assistance in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 matter is greatly appreciated. Yours sincerely, Jenny Chen

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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