IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people regard work as the most important thing in life and have little interest in anything else. Other people are most enthusiastic about their hobbies and leisure interest than their jobs. Discuss both of the attitudes and give your opinion.

#people #work #life #interest #hobbies #leisure #jobs #attitudes
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider
work
Use synonyms
 to be the most essential aspect of their lives, and they are uninterested in anything else. Others are more inclined towards their hobbies and personal
life
Use synonyms
 than they are about their employment. In my opinion, both aspects of
life
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 are important to
live
Change the verb form
living
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 a satisfactory and meaningful
life
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.
This
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 essay aims to discuss the same in detail.
First
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 of all,
ever increasing
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ever-increasing
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 competition has led to
normalization
Correct article usage
the normalization
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 of working more than 40 hours a week. Even though
people
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 might not be as productive as they can be if a balance is restored in their lives, they feel obligated to
work
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 for more than their capacity.
For instance
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,
people
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 working in Big 4 consultancies lose their productivity and concentration in
work
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 due to long working hours and lack of sleep.
Consequently
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,
this
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 leads to a decrease in quality of
work
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 as well as
life
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.
In contrast
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, the sole emphasis on lifestyle and hobbies can cause financial distress.
Although
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 some
people
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 have succeeded in pursuing their passion and maintaining lifestyles, everyone might not have the luxury to even pursue their passion. Even if they do so, they might get into serious financial trouble.
For example
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, even though many
people
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 experienced
an
Correct article usage
apply
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extreme
burn out
Correct your spelling
burnout
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 in their jobs in the pandemic, they couldn’t leave their jobs due to financial obligations.
As a result
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, lifestyle and hobbies took a backseat completely. To conclude, a
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work
Add a hyphen
work-life
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life
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 balance is
the
Change the article
a
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 key to a content and prosperous
life
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. A balance needs to be maintained in the
work
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 environment for
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
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 of the employees and the
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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.
Submitted by mansibareja96 on

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